Really like how the year 2011 looks typed or written out, it seems really good, hopeful
When it turned from 2010 into 2011 I was in Louisville and it started pouring seemingly at the same time as it hit midnight
I stayed calm on the outside whilst furtively yelling and partying inside
I was not drinking
At the after-party there was a guy sitting in a chair looking discontented and dismayed and like he was taking notes in his head about various people and every time I looked at him I thought "David Foster Wallace"
Felt able to drastically change my personality / habits / life on January 1st and at the same time felt lame for feeling this feeling, then felt lame for feeling lame about being able to change
Yesterday at the school I work at the kids were taking turns dancing to John Denver and it was this one boy's turn to dance and he started breakdancing (or at least as close to breakdancing as a 4 year old can accomplish) and his face looked very intent and focused and he danced for several minutes, until we clapped him out of the center of the circle, I smiled a lot, then turned and made snack, still smiling, I almost couldn't stop feeling pleasant after that
Envisioned a book consisting of the unpublished e-mails of someone famous after they die, between maybe an ex-lover or someone else of close comfort or just like all of the person's emails ever, or selections of emails, etc.
Envisioned someone getting their password and leaking the emails to the internet before said book came out
I have drank ~10 beers this year, been actually drunk once
I was interviewed at Radioactive Moat (here)
Today it is 6:57 PM and I have eaten an everything bagel with hummus and drank 3 cups of coffee
Going to make rice and kale soon I think
Love January as a month
Wish it was snowing in Columbus
Monster House Press is becoming an actual collective of people and releasing more books soon (here)
I have been very carefully / non-intentionally de-commidifying my life for the past ~5-6 years
Forgot to make my bed before going to work today and I came home and didn't care when I saw it
Read a story called "Kidding Season" by Lydia Peelle about a lame kid (baby goat that is unable to walk ) that is left behind by the protagonist and the protagonist realizes he left the lame kid behind as he is about to jump off a pier into the first warm water of the season in a new town he ran away to and he sees his feet and it reminds him of the lame kid. He stops and these two sentences happen, which are very poignant sentences that I like very much: How many days? How many days did the kid fix its eyes on the crest of the hill, waiting for him?
Many men have failed to show me empathy in my life
James Payne sent me my first email of the new year
I am almost twenty-three
Midori
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI'm a little unaccustomed to writing on strangers' blogs. I had a blog, deleted it, had a blog, deleted it, and now I have a blog again--
I think there's a sort of vulnerability that accompanies public writing that doesn't set well with me. But then I think that somehow (even the illusion of) an audience, can be, in an ironic sort-of way, something to combat narcissism (rather than a reason to indulge in it). I think that is because when one experiences the world with intensity--when one feels both Joy and sadness with intensity--one can sometimes trap oneself into thinking that no one else feels and experiences with the same intensity that s/he does. The fallback is being inside ones own head--with a moleskin journal and a rollerball pen. Or painting--sometimes I get all introspective and block everything out and just paint...
Heh, anyways I was online Vimeo trying to find an artsy(ish) video with a Sharon Old's poem to post on my blog, and I didn't find it-- but I stumbled on a sort-of odd video of you reading a Sharon Olds poem, and here I am. I think the whole 'James Payne Bedroom Series' gig is interesting, and I guess I just wanted to applaud you (and your friends) for putting yourself/selves out there.
Fondly,
Leslie
ps-- you got your wish; it's snowing in Columbus. Some friends and I are heading up there tonight, actually, from sleepy Athens to catch a Sharon Van Etten concert.