the breadth of everything and

i zone out and think about everything all at once
not everything all at once consciously
everything all at once unconsciously

but conscious enough or partially enough
to know it was everything that shot off as synapses
but not conscious enough to understand
the depth or complexity of that everything

to name it - i just felt it, you feel?

in the morning i chose the wrong pan to make potatoes in

i drank coffee and it didn't work

i ate cream cheese on bagels and cookies with frosting at my job

ronan tells me in a whisper,
(because ellis was napping nearby)
that he loved me
and all the depersonalization
went away

and i knew where i was again.

valentines

gallant times

malevolent rhymes

those be some benevolent pines, dad

left and leaving just ended and the sound
of the record circling itself is cathartic

i didn't realize it at first, but this is definitely an all lowercase blog post

here is a (my) heart for you—

<3